I was raised in an IFB church in central North Carolina from the age of 5-18. I made a profession at the age of 6 because that’s what everyone else was doing. As I grew up in this church and began to understand more, it became clear to me that what was being preached was not only driven by pride and hatred, but it wasn’t biblical (and yes, we used a KJV 1611). At the age of 15 I came to realize that I had never truly been saved, and I accepted Christ. After salvation I began reading in the book of John and there realized that Christianity isn’t centered around an IFB church, or a certain pastor, or denomination, or standards (opinions). It’s centered around Jesus! At 18 my wife and I started dated and she was going with me to this church. She was not raised in an IFB church, so she saw right through the lies and perversion that was spewed from the pulpit on any given Sunday. So then every other Sunday we would attempt her church (a Christian church) and that’s where I began to wake up. I realized that Christianity is not hard, only men complicated it all these years. I went back to my IFB church on a Wednesday night after an all day Sunday roasting from the “man of God”. I had prayed about leaving the IFB now for almost 2 years but was never certain of what other church I would attend. That Wednesday night my girlfriend stayed at home because she said she couldn’t take it anymore, and I couldn’t either. I was to the point where “if this is what church is, I’m done with it all.” The pastor got up that night and picked up the roasting right where he had left off of on Sunday. At the end of the service, before closing, he told us he had wasted 15 years with us, that the church would never be the same, told us we were damned, and grabbed his wife and left. The entire church was reeling, wondering what to do. You could hear everyone crying but I was not. Right then and there, I knew where God wanted me to be. That Wednesday night was the last service I attended at an IFB church. I knew that God wanted me to be in this Christian church that my girlfriend attended and that is where I’ve been the last since years. My girlfriend and I knew we were getting married one day and having children and I knew I didn’t want my kids to endure the pain I saw and have the scars to prove it. My girlfriend and I are now married with a kid on the way, and I’m so thankful that we will be able to raise it in the Christian church we attend, tell them about Jesus, and give it all the love it will ever need. Looking back the 3 greatest decisions i ever made in my 25 years is accepting Christ, marrying my wife, and leaving the IFB. I’ve never looked back, and God has blessed me more than I ever dreamed. Thank you guys for the podcast. It lets me know that I’m not the only one, and that Jesus is the only way!
I’m sorry you had a bad experience with your church I also grew up in a hard core IFB church but I learned over the years that all churches are not the same and you can not judge all churches by one. Even the southern Baptist or non Denominational are not the same. I will be praying for you and your family. I’m glad you found a church you love.
Be beautiful enough to feast the eyes
Long living the peace
Years ago I ran into a young pastor who was starting an IFB Church in our area. I started attending and became a charter member. I found myself running the sound booth. A ministry I loved. Ten years later the church had grown and was building on a new site. I had been a faithful and active member for years. My wife at the time and I were having problems and we separated for a short time. During that time I was removed from my position at the church. My wife and I reconciled. However, I was treated different. People seemed like they were avoiding me. I signed up for the sound board ministry and was ignored. Other people who signed up were immediately involved. When I decided it was time to relocate to another state, people really started to ignore me. After leaving for another job, the people I thought were my Christian Brothers and Sisters stopped talking to me and ignored me on social media. I relocated to another state and found another IFB Church. After 10 years as a member, my wife and I divorced. Again, I was treated different. No one offered support. I was treated like I had some disease. I stopped attending and would run into people from my church all the time. Each time they would just ignore me or walk the other way. Really? The only support I had were me non saved friends and people I served with in the military. Today, I still don’t hear from anyone who were supposed to be my friends. Everything is great if you fit in. If your rough around the edges, decide to leave or make some unpopular choices in your life, they will shun you. Not the behavior I learned growing up.
While reading this response, I thought of the verse “the fear of man bringeth a snare” – some people really want the approval of other church members and/or their pastor that they don’t want to be a friend to “a sinner” for fear of being considered “tainted”.
I’m sorry you went through this… shunning is not limited to IFB churches, and not all IFB churches are like the one you describe.
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