I have been crying listening to your podcasts – I feel like I’ve found my “people”. I thought I was one of the only ones that felt this way! Thank you for what you do. I wanted to share one of the most impactful things that happened to me in the IFB church as a young teenager. I’m now married with 2 kids and finding where I belong as a child of God, but this story still affects me today. We had two sets of youth leaders/wives in our youth group on top of our youth pastor/his wife. One of the youth leaders decided to abuse his power in the youth group by grooming and inappropriately relating with the teen girls. For some reason he chose me more often than my friends. His actions were disgusting and unacceptable. He was an older man, and started by giving the girls hugs…hugs that made us uncomfortable and sometimes seemed to cross the line with some touching involved – but let’s be honest, I had no idea and don’t even know how to describe it because at the time I was an innocent 14 year old who wasn’t even allowed to look at boys. He then tried to create relationships with us by saying or doing certain things. If you talked to him, he would only look at your chest.  One time on a youth trip shortly before I turned 18, he picked flowers and gave them to me telling me “this is so you’ll never forget me”. At 17 I was told I should be the next Victoria Secret model. The stories go on and on. I was cornered in a parking lot two years later when I thought I would never have to see him again, and not allowed to pass by to get to my car until I gave him one of his infamous “hugs”. One of the biggest reasons I’ve left the IFB is because I never want my daughter to have to go through these situations. I wasn’t raped. But I was groomed and if given the opportunity I know he would have taken it further. No one believed us and told us girls that he was “just a nice friendly man”. He was allowed to stay in authority for 7 years. But by the grace of God I wasn’t his worst victim – I pray for the girls I grew up with. I know it must still affect them like it does me. Sorry that this is kind of all over the place but it’s something I felt like I needed to share. Thank you so much!
Victoria