I grew up in the IFB community. For the longest time I have struggled with accepting God’s Grace. It was engrained in me that after salvation you must work to maintain and stay in His good graces; but that is not the case. I finally got into a good baptist church that is the perfect balance; but my junior year of high school we had a change in leadership within the youth group. The new youth pastor and his wife are extremely extremely conservative and have always looked down on me because I don’t have the same standards as them. I had been told by them that I had a rebellious spirit when I just didn’t know any better about a situation, and I was told by the wife I wasn’t right with Jesus because I didn’t wear skirts/dresses to Wednesday night youth group (in which we had open gyms). Just recently, the wife told me through a note that I am in the wrong for leaving a certain Christian college that they told me I was wrong for going to, and i have basically been told that I’m failing as a Christian. I have been struggling with this relationship for 2 years now and it’s heart breaking because I feel they are people I should be able to look up to not cower in fear from or feel discouraged every time I walk away from an interaction with them. I had know the youth pastor for a while and never had a problem with him until he married his wife and got sucked into the binds of legalism. This is what legalism does and how negatively it can affect people and relationships.