Where do I even begin with the IFB movement. First, let me say I am beyond thankful my parents got saved as they are first generation Christians. Second, I am not happy they got steeped into the IFB churches. How it has completely DESTROYED and RUINED my parents and siblings. My husband’s family DESTROYED and RUINED by the IFB church. Combined there are a total of 7 children in our families and only 2 still go to church and that’s us! A friend of mine who grew up in the IFB churches and we went to PCC together 😛 sent me a message one day letting me know she thought I would enjoy y’all’s podcast. I started all the way at #1 and I am about to start 009 – The Episode That Didn’t Happen. Everything that has been stated and talked about resonates deeply with us. My husband and I always questioned how things were in our churches growing up and always felt like something was off but of course just “played the game” until we could get out. I could go on and on about the disgustingness of legalism but instead I want to focus on God’s goodness and where we are now. Long story short we were at a church only because they preached from the good ol soul saving KJV. We had invested 10 years of our young adult life there and we had told the preacher and his wife up front that we were not lifers lol we will not get involved full time in ministry because we watched it destroy both our families from the inside out but we would help when needed. We oversaw the youth group several times; I was the nursery coordinator numerous times and we took a personal interest in their kids because growing up in the ministry ourselves we understood the loneliness of being a ministry kid. After 10 years of going to church there and “serving” God (that’s another topic because we were used, we weren’t serving God, like we can only serve God by working in the church building), GOD moved us 45 minutes away from everything we knew. It started with building a house in a new city, then a new Christian school for our kids (never would have thought of it because they don’t use the KJV which we now realize doesn’t matter but our children are not being taught legalism so win win for us) and then finally through all that He moved us to a different church. When we were nice enough to tell the preacher and his wife, because we thought we were friends and wanted to do the right thing and not just leave without saying anything, we were immediately excommunicated. We even told them God has uprooted us from the past 10 years of our lives and has moved us on to another church but we are so thankful for our time at that church and we would like to remain friends and still come see the kids basketball games. Absolute silence. Well when you leave the IFB you become an illustration somehow someway. Everyone has their own opinion about masks and I voiced mine which was we wont be wearing them as a family. The preacher’s wife was friends with me on social media and saw all of my posts about what I thought and wouldn’t you know it 4 days after we had said bye a video pops up on Facebook about why they have mandated masks at the church and why people should not have a problem with that…. My husband did reach out to the preacher to say hey we don’t know if that was about us but y’all mandating masks had absolutely nothing to do with why we left and we are not that shallow to leave over something like that and literally got nothing back. 6 months later we were at our best friends funeral and that preacher is the one doing the memorial service and both the preacher and his wife acted we were strangers and did not say a word to us and made sure to stay on the opposite side of the auditorium. The preacher’s wife actually moved 6 feet away from me when I went up to ask someone a question and she just so happened to be standing close by. No one from that church talks to us anymore (which they really didn’t before because we weren’t in the click) and it is just sad. We were excommunicated because the preacher and his wife knew we were about to find out what really happens behind closed doors and we were about to find out why were told to sit down and shutup when we asked questions. There are so many stories from our childhood (thank goodness nothing sexual!!!!), I mean we could write a book about everything! A couple of things that we have realized about ourselves or learned since we have been gone: God is actually LOVE!!! Anytime anything bad has happened in our lives we start looking back and trying to figure out where we screwed up and why God is punishing us when normally that’s not the case!!! Every GOOD thing we receive comes from God and nothing that I do will make Him love me anymore or any less!!! It is taught that God is love in IFB movements but the way you are raised and the way things are stated you are constantly looking over your shoulder like a gavel is about to be brought down. The next would be the haughty judgmental attitude. Again, something that is not exactly stated or taught but the way things are worded, they way sins are graded or made worse than other sins makes you grow up with this I am better than them mentality and you go through this checklist why! I didn’t have sex before I go married, I haven’t smoked, drank or chewed tobacco, I don’t do drugs, I didn’t get married out of wedlock and on and on the list goes and we are just built up with pride!!! Oh which is one of the things God HATES! Another is how people become projects. A pregnant teen girl, the alcoholic, the drug addict. They don’t help those people because they want to genuinely help; those people become a project for show so that they can tell everyone else who they are helping! We have become so much more compassionate and tender towards others after leaving the IFB cult and genuinely just trying to love people for who they are and not what we can get from them.
++++Disclaimer: I am not stating everyone in an IFB church operates these ways. But this is our experience in our 30+ years of being steeped in it.++++
I am in the middle of listening to the Nathan Rager interview and I have had to stop multiple times because just hearing him talk makes me angry. I know that is wrong but it is the way he talks and the arrogance in his voice and it just brings back all those years all over again! I questioned a lot but now that I am out I just see so clearly all the bull and they sound so stupid when explaining why they believe what they believe. Well this is super long and could be way longer with more stories but at this point I am sure you have heard them all!! Thank you so much for doing this podcast as it has really let us know we are not crazy and we are normal for questioning and getting out of a cult!!!