I have been listening  to your podcast for several months  now and have been encouraged to share my story.

At the age of 5 -12 I was abused by my “Christian” grandfather who was a pillar and deacon of the IFB church I grew up in. I was so fearful I would not tell anyone even after another “Christian ” man in that church abused me as well.

I finally got away and went to college. I felt safe. After graduating I took a job at an IFB Christian school and the Lord graciously sent me a wonderful  Christian husband.

About 10 years into our marriage,  I began to have physical issues from the trauma  of my childhood.  I had a panic attack at work and left to go to the doctor.  At the doctor we discussed several things and I came to admit what happened.  He diagnosed me as depressed and with anxiety disorder.

I returned to work to get my 4 year old daughter and the principal asked how I was doing. We talked a few minutes and I went about my day and spent the evening with my husband and daughter.

The next day I felt better and all was well. No, not true the principal handed me a cassette tape about why  Christians should not take antidepressants.  I asked why he gave it to me and he said because it makes you less sensitive to the Holy Spirit.  I took it but did not keep it. It was the one thing that assured me that it was time to go.

That was 16 years ago and I still have trauma and yes I am still under a doctor’s care as well as a therapist.

The Lord has been so faithful to me and healed me. He broke the chains of my past and now I can live in peace and safety.