My husband and I have attended an IFB church since we got saved in our young adulthood, but for the last year or so I’ve been seeing more cracks appear in the paint. You just get an icky feeling about some of the things you hear and see in the church as they don’t seem to support the true message of Jesus Christ (salvation through faith by grace!). However, I know that men are imperfect and no system is without its faults so I’ve been excusing some of them.
For several years my husband has felt called to preach and knowing of my doubts regarding our church, has begun to talk seriously with me about this. All at the same time I have begun to come out to him with my serious doubts about the way our church operates. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really see it. He thinks that the things I find troubling are due to the quirkier traditions of the church, not the foundational issues. His favorite internet preacher who he idolizes has the same legalistic bent but doesn’t identify as IFB, and my husband thinks that this is true Christianity.
Before I found your podcast I tried reasoning with him, with tears in my eyes, that Jesus came to fulfill the law because we CANNOT fulfill it ourselves, which is the main thing. But at church, 90% of the message is regarding legalistic topics and just misses this entirely.
I am worried that he won’t see the light before our kids become indoctrinated, they are still young. We have been taught that if you leave it’s because you probably were never saved, that the devil can use “the woman” for his evil purposes and that people only leave because they want to pursue their fleshly desires. How can I expose these talking points as manipulation tactics?
My husband is a good, loving, man, and provider. I do not wish to override his headship of our home, but I want to be a good spiritual “deputy.”
Thanks for any insight.