I was taught from a very early age how to be Christian. I was taught how to dress and act Christian. Therefore, I grew up with the notion that I was a Christian. Prayed the prayer several times, and even got baptized a few times. However, no true conversion left the door open for sin. I come from a emotionally and physically abusive home, so I gravitated toward media to mentally escape my situation. I became addicted to pornography in my preteen years.
Around the same time, I became a “preacher boy” and eventually went to a bible college. I struggled with my addiction for many years. The guilt was fueled more by the fact I was acting, being only what I thought I was supposed to be in front of others. Its all about the image, the substance or the lack thereof often comes second and goes unnoticed. I also was trying to soak up truth from bible classes, and the Holy Spirit used that as a way to ignite my doubts about the movement, and doubts about myself. The truth of the Word of God always has a effect, sometimes even against what the reader is intending with its use. He also showed me truths that eventually led me to leave the church and the movement behind. This is how God took my foundation and safety net from me to teach me who he was. When I was 25 I met God for the first time. My marriage was in shatters from my sin, and my wife and I were at a breaking point.
He showed me my pride in who I was, the sin it led me to, and how I needed him. I let it go, and had my Damascus road experience with the Messiah. Since then, Ive been on this path he has for me. I have been working and providing for my family, just trying to be where I am right now. I have been involved since then, oftentimes involving myself in a ministry to serve in whatever capacity I can.
I have a strong inner desire to share truth. I have a yearning to break some these generational chains we find ourselves in under this western church culture. I cant shake this burning I have in my heart, and I pray to be used in whatever way God sees fit. I heard your podcast for the first time the other day , and it brought me to tears. I appreciate the balance you guys have and the love you show for others. Our Father is using this ministry greatly. Thank you for your service, I will continue pray for ya’ll and listen in.