Hi, I am a 30 yo woman who has grown up in the IFB. I was born into it.
I remember my questions starting as young as 5, when I asked my parents why I couldn’t wear pants. They said because the Bible says so. This was just the beginning. Every year it seemed that more and more legalistic rules were put onto me. I wasn’t allowed to play with the neighborhood kids because they weren’t saved, even the kids at the Christian school if they didn’t have the same standards we couldn’t hang out after school. I couldn’t wear pants, shirts with writing or logos on the front, everything had to be below the knew, and loose. No movie theaters. I asked why we weren’t allowed to go and they said “because people don’t know what you are watching and we needed to abstain from the appearance of evil.” When I asked why this rule didn’t apply to the library as well I was punished. No music other than hymns, Southern gospel (my dad’s little side of rebellion), and classical. They only let me have jobs babysitting. We weren’t allowed to sleep over at friends houses. My parents tried to control every aspect of our lives. Sometimes I still find myself resenting them cu I have next to none good memories no childhood friends and I thought I was the problem.
I was told what IFB college I was going to. (I met my husband there, only good thing that happened.) Since this was my first time being away from parents I did break some rules. I went to a student houses who lived off campus with a friend. I guess a different time something else happened there with someone else when I wasn’t there (drugs). All I know is that I was asked of my involvement, I told them everything. A 2 day suspension was coming my way. Went back to the dorm. I woke up next morning not allowed to leave my dorm. The RA was a friend of mine she told me they called my parents and my parents requested that I come home. THIS WAS A LIE. After We (I and my parents) loaded all my things in the car. I asked why they would pull me. They said the school called them and said that they HAD to come get me cuz they no longer wanted me. I called one of friends a few weeks later, they announced that any student not there was kicked out because of drugs. (I offered to do a drug test, they told me that wasn’t necessary.) Interesting enough, the dean of women called me and said if I needed a recommendation letter she would give it to me. Guess I’m not the only one who knew this was a scam. Because of this, I lost all of my college friends because the MOG there told them I was a terrible influence. But that didn’t stop the college from wanting me to come back next year. $$$$$. In a way I’m glad this happened because this was the first step to opening parents eyes. I moved to a different state ahead of my schedule……to be closer to my then boy friend now husband. My eyes were open and his were starting to as well. When I got there His pastor pulled me aside and told me I was kicked out because of him. I guess he had called this college MOG out for stuff and he knew I was scheduled to move out here and help. It was his way of trying to get back at him. We started to realize though that my husband’s beloved church wasn’t so picture perfect itself. Thankfully we left quietly and oddly enough ended up at a IFB church.
This church is not your typical IFB church. The 2 big things IFB thing they do are KJV and on Sunday Morning suit and tie, and dress.
Sunday nights are focused on different things: date night / kids night, mens activities, ladies activities, teen activities, fire station visits, home fellowship (whole church one place), small home fellowship (whole church different places), family night actives, family devotion night, and on Holiday Sundays nothing.
We don’t just use a hymnal, we have a screen, we have expository preaching, small groups with discussions and questions. A pastor who isn’t angry, who is actively trying to go out and reach the community and be a good example for us to follow. A church that is trying to help small businesses during Covid. It’s a night and day difference and we have seen the pastor trying to make scriptural changes (like not a traditional Sunday night). He was ridiculed by other IFB pastors in the area, but he has seen the benefit of it in his people. I am closer to the families at this church than any other church I have been at.
Your podcast has been a life saver, it has inspired me and my husband to want to raise our kids differently and scripturally. We want to be separate from the world by Word and Deed, bot by man made standards. We want to please God because He loves us, not because we are afraid of Him. I have favor in Him because Christ already has purchased it for me.
There is so much more I could tell, so many sad stories but I just wanted to let you know that this is such a help. I wish there were more episodes but totally understand the business of life.
Only 2 suggestions 1)have a few more woman on there from time to time, we had it so much worse than you. 2) at the beginning you said you were going to cover a few topics like why KJVO is not correct, and other big IFB things. Roll them out. I cannot wait any longer lol, I have so many questions that would get covered in the podcast.
Im fine if you read this on the podcast (if you can my typing is not the best and Grammar not my strong suit) . I left names and places out on purpose. God bless you, K.